Longview Hills @ Newport Oregon

Via email from Charles Burke.....

I have been a Travel Agent for thirty years. This is why we're in
> trouble:

> I had a New Hampshire Congresswoman ask for an aisle seat so that
> her hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window.

> I got a call from a candidate's staffer, who wanted to go to
> Capetown. I started to explain the length of the flight and the
> passport information, then she interrupted me with, "I'm not trying to
> make you look stupid, but Capetown is in Massachusetts." Without
> trying to make her look like the stupid one, I calmly explained, "Cape
> Cod is in Massachusetts, Capetown is in Africa." Her response (click).

> A senior Vermont Congressman called, furious about a Florida package
> we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando. He
> saidhe was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to explain that is
> notpossible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state. He replied,
> "Don't lie to me. I looked on the map, and Florida is a very thin state!"

> I got a call from a lawmaker's wife who asked, "Is it possible to
> see England from Canada?" I said, "No." She said, "But they
> look so
> close on the map."

> An aide for a Bush cabinet member once called and asked if he could
> rent a car in Dallas. When I pulled up the reservation, I noticed
> he had only a 1-hour layover in Dallas. When I asked him why he
> wanted to rent a car, he said, "I heard Dallas was a big airport, and we
> will
> need a car to drive between the gates to save time."

> An Illinois Congresswoman called last week. She needed to know how
> It was possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:20 a.m. and got
> into Chicago at 8:33 a.m. I tried to explain that Michigan was an
> hour ahead of Illinois, but she could not understand the concept of time
> zones. Finally, I told her the plane went very fast, and she bought that!

> A New York lawmaker called and asked, "Do airlines put your physical
> description on your bag so they know whose luggage belongs to whom?"
> I said, "No, why do you ask?" She replied, "Well, when I checked
> in with the airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said (FAT), and I'm
> overweight. I think that is very rude?" After putting her on
> hold for a minute while I 'looked into it' (I was actually laughing) I
> came
> back and explained the city code for Fresno, CA is (FAT), and that the
> airline was just putting a destination tag on her luggage.

> A Senator's aide called to inquire about a trip package to Hawaii.
> After going over all the cost info, she asked, "Would it be cheaper to
> fly to California and then take the train to Hawaii?"

> I just got off the phone with a freshman Congressman who asked, "How
> Do I know which plane to get on?" I asked him what exactly he
> meant,to which he replied, "I was told flight number is 823, but none of
> these
> darn planes have numbers on them."

> A lady Senator called and said, "I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola, FL.
> Do I have to get on one of those little computer planes?" I asked if
> she meant fly to Pensacola, FL on a commuter plane. She said, "Yeah,
> whatever!"

> A senior Senator called and had a question about the documents he
> Needed in order to fly to China. After a lengthy discussion about
> passports, I reminded him that he needed a visa. "Oh, no I don't.
> I've been to China many times and never had to have one of those." I
> double checked and sure enough, his stay required a visa. When I
> told him this he said, "Look, I've been to China four times and every
> time they have accepted my American Express!"

> A New Mexico Congresswoman called to make reservations, "I want to
> Go from Chicago to Rhino, New York." The agent was at a loss for
> words. Finally, the agent said, "Are you sure that's the name of
> the town?" "Yes, what flights do you have?" replied the lady. After
> some searching, the agent came back with, "I'm sorry, ma'am, I've looked
> up
> every airport code in the country and can't find a Rhino anywhere."
> The lady retorted, "Oh, don't be silly! Everyone knows where it is.
> Check your map!" The agent scoured a map of the state of New York and
> finally offered, "You don't mean Buffalo, do you?" "That's it! I knew
> it was a big animal," she said.

> Now you know why Government is in the shape that it's in.
> No trees were killed in the making of this e-mail...however, a large
> number of electrons were horribly inconvenienced.