Longview Hills @ Newport Oregon

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GRETCHEN



I learned early in life, that when you're small, you have to compensate. If you don't, everyone will walk all over you! If you're timid and shy, everybody will try and take advantage of you. Being a runt, I speak from experience!

One day, as I lay by the fire, snuggled at my mistress's feet, I thought back to when my mama gave me a pep talk. It was shortly before I left mama's home for good. "Gretchen," she said, "Buck up, girl! No one's going to respect you if you cower in the corner or hide behind your mistress's skirts. What you need is ATTITUDE! You come from strong German stock. That's why you're so stubborn! It's just part of your nature!

I smiled to myself as I recalled mama's sweet words. From that day on, I held my head high and determined that I wouldn't take any guff from anybody. It was the best advice I ever received!

First, I had to properly train my human mistress. She was of the mistaken opinion that when I went to live with her, SHE was in charge of ME and I was to follow her orders without question! We struggled for a few weeks, but she finally came to understand that she was to be at MY beckon call, and not the reverse! Once she grasped that idea, things began to run more smoothly.

Whenever I took my mistress out for a stroll in the park we live in, she would become angry and shout at me to quit barking at everyone I saw. Some of these humans we encountered, were mean, old farts! She didn't realize that some of these same people, who were nice to me when she was around, made degrading comments to me, the minute she was out of earshot! I had no way of making her understand that I was cussing these bullies out in German!

This human has been good to me, and in her own strange way, I'm sure she really cares about me. I've never understood the weird baby talk she talks to me, but I've forgiven her, because I know deep down that she has a kind heart.

I still test her every now and then, by peeing on her carpet. It's the only way I can tell for SURE that she really still loves me! She used to get so upset when I'd do that, but now she just gets that sappy look on her face and tells me she knows I couldn't help it. (Yeah, right!) Just for good measure, once every six months or so, I also hack up my dinner onto the floor! It's just that I get bored and have to create a little excitement! She thinks I'm sick and gives me extra cuddles and goodies, so it's really good for both of us. (Maybe she wouldn't see it that way?)

My one complaint is, I HATE THURSDAY NIGHTS! My mistress, and the other human who lives in my house, both go to the clubhouse for some stupid "game night." I would absolutely LOVE to stay home alone. Then I'd have PARTY TIME! I could go in any room I wanted, lie on the beds, hide under the dresser, drag the garbage out of the trash can .... it would be FABULOUS! But nooooooo ..... they don't realize I'm a BIG girl and I can be left alone! Instead they drag me along in the car, where I have to sit for 2 or 3 hours! BORING! Sure they wrap me in warm blankets and bring me special treats, but ya know .... girls just wanna have fun!

Oh well, over all, life is good! Good food, a good bed, humans who usually mind me pretty well. All in all, what more could a girl want?