NOT ALL OF THE NEWS IS BAD.....
To save you the trouble of reading today's newspaper I am including in this article the news that does not have anything to do with the war, politics, inflation, terrorism, or the heat wave back east.
159 GRAPES: A man from India was officially recognized by the Guinness Book of World Records for being able to stuff 159 green grapes into his mouth at the same time. The monitors from Guinness carefully examined each grape upon removal to be sure that the skins had not been broken. A truly newsworthy event!
WORDS OF WISDOM FROM ELTON JOHN: The well known humanitarian was quoted as saying : "I'm so over tattoos and rings through the noses. It's not pretty, it's not pleasant, it's not exciting. Please stop it now." The world will immediately become a better place because of this quality advice.
EVEN MORE WISDOM FROM ZIGGY: The loveable cartoon character was standing on the scale when he said: "I think that the reason it's so hard to lose weight at my age is because after all these years my body and my fat have become such good friends!"
Now you may get started on your weekend knowing that you are up to date on everything that was worthwhile in today's newspaper. Jim McCrea
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