Kmart shopping...
Ron Thomas
Today I went shoe shopping at Kmart. First in Albany and then in Corvallis. Jacky and I both needed shoes. She stayed home and I went.
I remember Kmart the store that had everything from long ago before it fell on hard times and now has become part of Sears. The first thing you notice is the near empty parking lots. That is followed by the depopulated store experience you feel when shopping.
Neither store had the shoes that I was supposed to get... Being a man however I bought some anyhow. Naturally I knew they would not be the right ones but returning from the hunt empty handed is just not in our nature.
One of the new additions to both store is human flys. They come upto you from nowhere and buzz around you offering you the chance of a lifetime to enter their big giveaway contest. They hover around giving this long spiel and then thrust a form for you fill out in your face. In desparation I said ok and filled out the form to the point where it asked for my phone number and skipped that and the email address the fly wanted. The fly then said I had to put down my phone number... Why say I? So they can call and confirm that you are entered in the contest says the fly... I said no... The fly started buzzing and humming about they could not accept the entry as she thrust the flypaper into my hand... As the flypaper stuck to my hand I wandered down the aisle muttering... damn fly.
Now at the next Kmart... a good hunter never gives up... I went in the store and purposely headed for the shoe department determined to bag the right pair of shoes when what did I spy? Another fly bothering someone else... Hurriedly I searched the shelves for my quarry hoping to get away before the fly searched me out... gotem and I'm outta here... buzz buzz hmmmmm the fly found me . I told him (this time) that he could save his time I'm not giving my phone number.... Well you all know flies... they never give up... buzz buzz hmmmm as I walked down the aisle to the check stand... then thanks be to all camels... the fly spotted another victim and he was away in a flash. It was then I noticed another Kmart annomaly...
There are 12 checkout stands but only two are open and in order to herd customers into the checkout chute where they can be prodded by the electronic atm machine Kmart has erected long narrow tunnels of jamn packed shelving spaced together just close enough to allow a basket through. Moo, I say. This just gets me odd stares from my fellow cows who are trapped between shelves and cannot leave even if a strange man is mooing behind them.
At check out I mention that the shoes I have are half off... and the cowboy in charge says oh yeah I almost forgot.... Moo I say...
Today I went shoe shopping at Kmart. First in Albany and then in Corvallis. Jacky and I both needed shoes. She stayed home and I went.
I remember Kmart the store that had everything from long ago before it fell on hard times and now has become part of Sears. The first thing you notice is the near empty parking lots. That is followed by the depopulated store experience you feel when shopping.
Neither store had the shoes that I was supposed to get... Being a man however I bought some anyhow. Naturally I knew they would not be the right ones but returning from the hunt empty handed is just not in our nature.
One of the new additions to both store is human flys. They come upto you from nowhere and buzz around you offering you the chance of a lifetime to enter their big giveaway contest. They hover around giving this long spiel and then thrust a form for you fill out in your face. In desparation I said ok and filled out the form to the point where it asked for my phone number and skipped that and the email address the fly wanted. The fly then said I had to put down my phone number... Why say I? So they can call and confirm that you are entered in the contest says the fly... I said no... The fly started buzzing and humming about they could not accept the entry as she thrust the flypaper into my hand... As the flypaper stuck to my hand I wandered down the aisle muttering... damn fly.
Now at the next Kmart... a good hunter never gives up... I went in the store and purposely headed for the shoe department determined to bag the right pair of shoes when what did I spy? Another fly bothering someone else... Hurriedly I searched the shelves for my quarry hoping to get away before the fly searched me out... gotem and I'm outta here... buzz buzz hmmmmm the fly found me . I told him (this time) that he could save his time I'm not giving my phone number.... Well you all know flies... they never give up... buzz buzz hmmmm as I walked down the aisle to the check stand... then thanks be to all camels... the fly spotted another victim and he was away in a flash. It was then I noticed another Kmart annomaly...
There are 12 checkout stands but only two are open and in order to herd customers into the checkout chute where they can be prodded by the electronic atm machine Kmart has erected long narrow tunnels of jamn packed shelving spaced together just close enough to allow a basket through. Moo, I say. This just gets me odd stares from my fellow cows who are trapped between shelves and cannot leave even if a strange man is mooing behind them.
At check out I mention that the shoes I have are half off... and the cowboy in charge says oh yeah I almost forgot.... Moo I say...
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