On Public Restrooms...

Last night the LVH CERT team held its first meeting of the year. I was surprised to hear the members ask why I hadn't written anything about our trip home from CA. Evidently, some find those essays to be humorous?

So, I started to tell them about a constant pet peeve I've noticed everywhere we travel. It got laughs so I am going to put it in today.

Somehow, there is an element of sadism across America these days that is taken out on travelers when they are at there most vulnerable position... hunkered down over a restroom toilet.

Oh yes, there have been made great strides in public restrooms since I was a kid. Take for instance the larger stalls that accommodate wheelchairs and those chrome handrails that can be a big help for old arthritic joints... Kudos to Americans for such thoughtfulness even if laws and ordinances had to be passed in order for them to become a reality.

But........

There is always a "but" isn't there? Buts tend to wipe out anything nice that was said before in a conversation like this and so it is now.

The toilet paper roll! Owners of public restrooms are either cruel or unconscious... maybe even cheap... It's hard to say..

Here you are, ensconced on the throne and it is time... well it's time to gather toilet paper to finish the job. Where is the roll? Oh! Here it is in a plastic container mounted upside down ... right here down between my ankle and knee???? You're going to need those handrails my friend as you try to coax toilet paper from the plastic, upside down, dispenser. You can't see the paper but if the oversized roll inside is big enough ..you can with use of the handrails, and a twisting action get the roll to spin and hopefully the tail of the roll will drop down enough that you can grab it. With this minor triumph in hand you must pull, ever so gently, straight down because the toilet paper is 1ply and will rip off if you so much as blink. This causes the toilet paper to twist and should you be successful in getting a piece you will have to straighten it out... Eventually, your piece of paper will break off due to to much pulling stress and that will be what you have. Now to go back a bit, should you start your pull of the paper in the dispenser at an angle instead of straight down you will have the convenience of having a serrated knife on the dispenser slice of an inch or two of paper for you.

My two knees which have been renamed, "Snap, Crackle and Pop", complain constantly about the above indignity for hours after the task is completed and my back which has been renamed, "Pain in the", isn't to happy about the situation either. My thought is that you should carry a roll of T-paper with you into any public restroom or be prepared for a gymnastic struggle with the toilet paper dispenser.