The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational...
Sent in by Laura Davis...
..... once again
asked readers to take any word from the dictionary,
alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing of one
letter, and supply a new definition. Here are this
year's {2005} winners:
> 1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house,
which renders the subject
financially impotent for an indefinite period.
> 2. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an
asshole.
> 3. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund,
which lasts until you
realize it was your money to start with.
> 4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a
hillbilly.
> 5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid
people that stops bright
ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer,
unfortunately, shows little sign
of breaking down in the near future.
> 6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself
for the purpose of
getting laid.
> 7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very
high.
> 8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of
sarcastic wit and the person
who doesn't get it.
> 9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you
are running late.
> 10. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.
> 11. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one
got extra credit.)
> 12. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is
sending off all these really
bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes
and it's like, a
serious bummer.
> 13. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting
through the day
consuming only things that are good for you.
> 14. Glibido: All talk and no action.
> 15. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to
seem smarter when they
come at you rapidly.
> 16. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance
performed just after you've
accidentally walked through a spider web.
> 17. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito,
that gets into your
bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast
out.
> 18. Caterpallor (n): The color you turn after
finding half a worm in the
fruit you're eating.
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